Since I'm a professional voice over guy, I had some fun awhile back putting some of those Chuck Norris "facts" into an audio format for folks to download and share. My friend, Julie, recently suggested I do the same with some of the Sarah Palin facts that are popping up all over the web. So I found a few here and there and polished up the writing just a bit...and took a shot at recording it. Thanks to all those who had the great original ideas for allowing me to temporarily appropriate your work! I've included the text I used as a narration script at the bottom in case you'd like to read along or share it with others.
While I (like most people) have strong personal feelings about politics, this isn't about my personal persuasion (or yours). This is just about good clean fun for anyone who takes the time to listen. I believe people are a lot more important than their politics. Whether McCain/Palin or Obama/Biden wins this fall, I honestly hope that the concept of "post-partisanship" can gain some ascendancy in the country...at least long enough for us to address some of our most serious issues.
Please share this file with anyone you think might enjoy it by Digging it or using another social bookmarking service... but I'd appreciate it if you'd send them here to my site to download it...rather than posting it elsewhere. En-joy! ;-)
Sarah Palin's DNA is so tough she doesn't use hairspray...instead, her youngest daughter's spit keeps her hair in style 24/7.
Sarah Palin does not cry. She leaks amniotic fluid.
Sarah Palin is so persuasive that when she worked in a convenience store as a teenager, she actually DID sell ice to Eskimos.
Sarah Palin can bring forth oil from the Alaskan oil fields
with a quick stomp from either her of her high heels.
One time Sarah Palin was attacked in the Alaskan wilderness by a ferocious Grizzly...but walked away unharmed because, in a 15-second conversation, the bear grew flustered and switched his position to pro-life.
Even Al Gore knows (although he'll never admit it...) that the REAL cause of Global Warming is that there's someone as HOT as Sarah Palin so close to the North Pole.
She hunts and eats moose - not simply for the meat, but because a moose once crossed the street in front of her car, delaying her trip by 8 seconds. The insult was not forgotten.
Sarah Palin can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and then line-item veto the pork.
Alaska does not have the death penalty. Instead, murderers are offered the choice between life imprisonment or being given a one-hour head start before Sarah Palin is allowed to hunt them down. So far, all have chosen life in prison.
Sarah Palin is so tough that she decided to take a ten-minute stroll during her lunch hour...and ended up winning the Iditarod.
Sarah Palin is so tough, she wears polar bear fur when it’s 40 below outside… while the polar bear is still wearing it.
The Northern Lights? They're actually just the reflection from Sarah Palin's eyes.
Sarah Palin knows that Intelligent Design will not only improve education...but White House decor as well.
Sarah Palin is running for VP, but when she's not around, those in the RNC like to refer to her as the "Moosiah."
Sarah Palin bears her young, not underwater...but in a tank of sweet light crude.
When Jack Bauer dials 911, the call is immediately forwarded to Sarah Palin.
Tom Brady's knee injury was orchestrated to make room for Sarah Palin on the Patriots' roster.
Sarah Palin is so cool that Bruce Willis is jealous of her children’s names.
Unlike Senator Stevens, Sarah Palin knows that the internet is actually a series of fallopian tubes.
For extra credit in 4th grade Social Studies, Sarah Palin parachuted over North Vietnam and rescued John McCain from the Hanoi Hilton.
And finally...Sarah Palin has a half full case of Whup-ass in her fridge. She only needed half a can to clean up Alaskan politics. The rest of the case is still right there next to the mustard...waiting to be shipped to D.C. in January.